And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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