So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
