I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We don't watch enough power rangers
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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