I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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