Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
