I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Say something about gay babies.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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