I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
