playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
