She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
