i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
