Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
