The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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