ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
