I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
