I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
