Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
