he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
