I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
only if we run a train.
done.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What a dumb baby whore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
