i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
