I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
