Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
