I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
