and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
