Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
