My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
