GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
