they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
