Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and i looked up. we had an audience...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
