Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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