Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
