Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
