making cat noises will not fix the situation.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize