Please, let me fuck your mom
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
