real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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