im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
