Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
