Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
