Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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