shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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