As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
