I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
