Porn is love you can see.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
