It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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