New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
