that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
