I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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