We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize