i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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