So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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