Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
