I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
