i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize