In the future we'll all be gay
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
