I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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