I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
