"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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