wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
