Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
