She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sober January is a disaster.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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