If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
