Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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