I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize