my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
