Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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