Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
